Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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