try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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