So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
