problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize