maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
