Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
