Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
