omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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