she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
