Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize