I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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