Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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