Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
did you just send me my own nude
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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