LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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