Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
