Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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