I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
