Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
