bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
