The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize