We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
