U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
