Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
