what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
