I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
