Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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