you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize