Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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