we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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