I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
