you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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