so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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