i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
