Can i not drive my cunt home
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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