You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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