I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just high enough for therapy.
This is my gift to your gina
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
