i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
