I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
