At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
