I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
