Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
