Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
