I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
