time to smoke my breakfast
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
