38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
