no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
