And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
