I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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