It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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