Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize