Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
