Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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