I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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