You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
