from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Farmville is her only friend.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize