Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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