i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize