some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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