if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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