Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am naked and annoyed.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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