the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
