Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
