I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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