shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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