I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Come on in and take your pants off
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